Indie games – a harassment free zone?

In general there is little harassment in gaming groups and the situation seems to be improving even further. Is gaming now a hassle free zone?

Harassment in gaming has become a big talking point over the last year and I believe that indie gaming isn't exempt from it. Others may disagree with the extent of what I'm writing about and any solutions that I suggest. That's fine. What we need is to bring this discussion out in the open and decide what action to take. Soon.

People in official capacities at conventions and to a lesser extent in gaming groups are likely at some stage to hear reports of harassment.

If this is you, please please believe the person talking to you. I am aware life isn't that simple. I am aware that there are misunderstandings but for this moment you have another human being in front of you who is feeling upset or angry or vulnerable or afraid. So please, just for that moment try to give them what they need, whether it's somewhere quiet to sit, someone to wait with them at the bus stop or their friends to be found. Then later you can decide what to do. Depending on what happened it might not necessarily mean talking to anyone else or doing anything at all, or it might mean talking to the other person(s) about what occurred earlier or it might mean expelling them from the group. When looking at harassment look at whether we are actually creating a safe space. In a role-playing group after repeated harassment someone is normally driven to leave the group. How do we make sure that that person is the harasser?

Groups are beginning to become more aware of this issue. Cons and role-playing groups are beginning to create codes of conduct and think about how participants, particularly women and minorities can be protected. For instance, both have relatively recently started introducing anti–harassment policies. In an ideal world the existence of the policy will mean participants know who to contact if they feel they are being or have been harassed or abused and they will know that they will be taken seriously.

Unfortunately not all anti-harassment policies are written and not all written policies are adhered to so having or not having one isn't necessary a guarantee of a group's willingness to take this issue forward. And then there's the question of how a group defines harassment. No touching without explicit fully informed consent is usually a given (one would hope) but where do we draw the line? Are aggressive, sexist or other offensive remarks about someone OK? What about rape jokes or anything else which could be a trigger to some people? It's comforting to have a policy in place but sticking a piece of paper on the wall or a note on a website on it's own isn't enough.

I wish it was easy to fight back against every creep, every harasser, every abuser that anyone ever encountered. I wish we all always had the strength, and the energy , that we were all fearless and were never triggered or intimidated and had the fighting skills of Buffy and the repertoire of Veronica Mars. I wish it was always easy to report harassment because we felt able to, because we'd never been disbelieved or laughed at or asked 'is that all?' I wish I could guarantee the safety of everyone to act proportionately to protect themselves physically and emotionally. Of course I can't. But it also feels like a catch 22 if you get told that you didn't really mind because you didn't say or do anything.

If there is an answer then maybe it comes with our support of each other. The men who would never hurt a woman and know how to respect boundaries. The sisterhood who could stand together and say “enough”. Sometimes it might mean telling a friend what they're saying isn't appropriate, e-mailing a convention and suggesting a change to their harassment policy, or going to get help because someone's being threatened. And sometimes yes, it might mean telling a stranger to back off, particularly if you are stronger or not alone.