Diversity, Discussion and Dice

I'm still on the high that I felt when this day was over. The organisation and running of this event was only possible because of the help and support of my wonderful friends and fellow roleplayers. I was surprised at the interest in the diversity day when it was first suggest as a concept. I had several people say to me that an attempt to address several issues in one day was really welcome as a lot of cons have an hour long slot for diversity in gaming as a catch all. Thankfully we had some fantastic entertaining speakers and participants who contributed thoughtfully and brought a lot to the discussion.

We had 6 talks throughout the day in two rooms:

Dealing with triggers while gaming which I ran as a workshop on the meaning of triggering different safety techniques which were currently used and how they could be improved. There was a nice turnout and enough people to split the group into 4 so that we could examine techniques in more depth. (There was a singing class taking place in the background so sometimes I'd make a point and hear some inspiring music well up behind me - I would recommend that to all nervous public speakers!)

At the same time in the other room Graham Walmsley ran a talk and discussion on Other histories: Positve perspectives on Queerness and Women

In the second slot Joanna Piancastelli ran a talk on how to play characters which are different from yourself both sensitively and well.

Anita Murray ran a talk called Playing with Sex, looking at the positive aspects of sex in role playing. There was also a very interesting facilitated discussion that arose from this which covered bleed, consent and whether roleplayed sex could be romantic.

In the final slot Helen Gould ran a talk and discussion called Leaving the West which was about looking at different ways to set roleplaying games and play characters outside a Western setting with a particular focus on Africa.

Karolina Soltys ran a talk on sensitive and realistic portrayal of mental health issues in roleplaying which then became an interesting discussion on bleed and whether games could be designed which portrayed mental health in an accurate way.

After that we had a gaming session with Stiainín Jackson running her game Court Whispers, Karolina running a hack of the game A family affair involving one of the characters having mental health issues and Richard Williams running B x B by Jake Richmond and Heather Aplington.

Some of the transcripts of the talks and a write up of the triggers workshop can be found here: https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B-I8NCTgeqBbd0FlcnJfVHBhRkE&usp=sharing

It was a good day. There was a lot of enthusiasm and willingness to learn from each other. I hope that this can eventually be an annual thing and that next year we'll be back bigger and better!

Mental health (not gaming related)

This post is not about gaming. I'm going to be talking about mental health issues. This may not interest you. That's fine. There will be more gaming posts coming soon.

I’m having a low patch at the moment. I know this will pass but my depression and anxiety are both overtaking me and I just want to hide under the duvet. What this means - well your experience may vary - but some of the fun thoughts I am having include:

• I’m useless.
• No one wants me around, they just put up with me out of pity.
• I’m weak.
• I’m going to feel this way forever.
• If I leave the house I’ll have a panic attack and everyone will see and judge me.
• I will have a panic attack in front of my friends and they will see me and judge me.
• Trauma related reactions which barely make sense to me and won't make sense to anyone else.

Here’s the thing about depression and anxiety. They lie. You have probably heard the analogy about having a broken bone. People say mental health difficulties should be treated like that, in the same way as a broken bone. You go to the doctor, you get the treatment you need. It’s true. But a broken bone doesn't lie to you. A broken bone hurts because it’s broken. It doesn't get inside your head and tell you that you’re not worth it.

By the way, you are worth it.

Depression lies. Anxiety lies.

And you are not alone. You realise that more and more as you talk to people. I’ve often heard the statistic quoted that 1 in 4 people suffer from mental health problems at some point in their life. I think it could be more than that.

The things that you’re telling yourself - they’re not true.

Depression lies. Anxiety lies.

I am writing this because one of the issues mental health problems cause are secrecy and isolation. If this applies to you, or has applied to you in the past, look after yourself. And hang on. One more day might make all the difference. It's lying to you. You aren't alone.