In general there is little harassment
in gaming groups and the situation seems to be improving even
further. Is gaming now a hassle free zone?
Harassment in gaming has become a big
talking point over the last year and I believe that indie gaming
isn't exempt from it. Others may disagree with the extent of what I'm
writing about and any solutions that I suggest. That's fine. What we
need is to bring this discussion out in the open and decide what
action to take. Soon.
People in official capacities at
conventions and to a lesser extent in gaming groups are likely at
some stage to hear reports of harassment.
If this is you, please please believe
the person talking to you. I am aware life isn't that simple. I am
aware that there are misunderstandings but for this moment you have
another human being in front of you who is feeling upset or angry or
vulnerable or afraid. So please, just for that moment try to give
them what they need, whether it's somewhere quiet to sit, someone to
wait with them at the bus stop or their friends to be found. Then
later you can decide what to do. Depending on what happened it might
not necessarily mean talking to anyone else or doing anything at all,
or it might mean talking to the other person(s) about what occurred
earlier or it might mean expelling them from the group. When looking
at harassment look at whether we are actually creating a safe space.
In a role-playing group after repeated harassment someone is normally
driven to leave the group. How do we make sure that that person is
the harasser?
Groups
are beginning to become more aware of this issue. Cons and
role-playing groups are beginning to create codes of conduct and
think about how participants, particularly women and minorities can
be protected. For instance, both have relatively recently started
introducing anti–harassment policies. In an ideal world the
existence of the policy will mean participants know who to contact if
they feel they are being or have been harassed or abused and they
will know that they will be taken seriously.
Unfortunately
not all anti-harassment policies are written and not all written
policies are adhered to so having or not having one isn't necessary a
guarantee of a group's willingness to take this issue forward. And
then there's the question of how a group defines harassment. No
touching without explicit fully informed consent is usually a given
(one would hope) but where do we draw the line? Are aggressive,
sexist or other offensive remarks about someone OK? What about rape
jokes or anything else which could be a trigger to some people? It's
comforting to have a policy in place but sticking a piece of paper on
the wall or a note on a website on it's own isn't enough.
I
wish it was easy to fight back against every creep, every harasser,
every abuser that anyone ever encountered. I wish we all always had
the strength, and the energy , that we were all fearless and were
never triggered or intimidated and had the fighting skills of Buffy
and the repertoire of Veronica Mars. I wish it was always easy to
report harassment because we felt able to, because we'd never been
disbelieved or laughed at or asked 'is that all?' I wish I could
guarantee the safety of everyone to act proportionately to protect
themselves physically and emotionally. Of course I can't. But it also
feels like a catch 22 if you get told that you didn't really mind
because you didn't say or do anything.
If
there is an answer then maybe it comes with our support of each
other. The men who would never hurt a woman and know how to respect
boundaries. The sisterhood who could stand together and say “enough”.
Sometimes it might mean telling a friend what they're saying isn't
appropriate, e-mailing a convention and suggesting a change to their
harassment policy, or going to get help because someone's being
threatened. And sometimes yes, it might mean telling a stranger to
back off, particularly if you are stronger or not alone.
