You never forget your first time

The first time I went to a role playing meet up I was terrified. I crept down to the basement of the pub we were playing in, hopeful of somehow vanishing into the scenery (some invisibility spell perhaps). It wasn't the first time I had ever played but I think it was my second. My brother in law introduced me to Dungeon World over Skype and due to a bad connection I was able to understand if I had won or lost the roll about half the time. But I was briefly a druid who could talk to creatures of the forest and had green hair. In short, I was hooked.

Except of course that I had played one game and didn't really understand the rules and I had always been told that I wouldn't belong there. By going to the meeting without an encyclopedic knowledge of every game ever written I wasn't just letting myself down, I was letting my gender down. I had heard this time and time again about talk of 'fake geek girls' and 'healer girlfriends'. I had heard that table top roleplaying was a boy's hobby.

Since that day I have been the one trying to convince people that actually, no, gaming's for everyone. Even women, minorities and (dare I say it) the socially awkward. And sometimes it works.

Gaming groups have always been welcoming to me. When I finally made it downstairs to the pub basement, if anyone was wondering why I was attempting to hide in a corner then they were too polite to ask. I felt welcomed and not at all like I was about to be thrown out for not knowing what a Kobold was or how to score a success in World of Darkness. This is true for most people I think. Once they are there and have tried a few games they will know if gaming's for them (or not). I don't think that this problem is unique to women and minorities although I do think there are issues that are more likely to occur when gaming as a women. That is probably too much ground to cover in any depth for this article but I will write about it in the future.

For groups, the important thing is to be actively open to new players. That doesn't just mean a few lines on a website saying 'new players welcome'. The group needs to clearly take the stance of 'Never played a role playing \ narrative driven \ story game before. Don't worry. You won't be the only one. We'll teach you.' Yes, this is hand holding to an extent and maybe seems a bit belittling to people who have been playing since they were teenagers or never get scared in social situations. But it will make a difference

This stance should also include offering occasional one shot game for newbies and advertising when campaigns are starting, which ones would welcome people who have never played the system or role played before (ideally most of them), and an explanation of the jargon that comes with playing. The first face to face game I played was a playtest which was great in some ways. All the rules were explained to me and I wasn't expected to know anything (I can only imagine that the feedback I gave at the end was a bit entertaining though). But I didn't know what a playtest was which wouldn't have made a lot of difference to me, but might have spared me some awkwardness. I am still trying to work out the best way to pitch games that I'm facilitating so it's advice I need to bear in mind too ('this is, ugh, Fiasco, ugh its a game where we tell errm a collaborative story and I'm using an Elizabethan play set.' - clearly the social awkwardness has improved) but it is important to explain your terms if you are pitching to new players.

As facilitators we need to be patient and assume that people won't know the rules. They probably won't. Not everyone, not for this specific game. That doesn't mean that they will add anything less to your game than your more experienced players.

I wrote at the start about the myths that women as role players face, but I think there is also a universal difficulty into walking into a place where everyone knows what they're doing and you don't. But it's worth it. You might not understand everything straight away but you will have fun.

And the rest of it really doesn't matter.